Finding, Feeling Fear
So rattling, so clear 

Choking, stifling me
Still, you can’t see

How rattling, shaking
My heart; still faking

The fear, still masking
In its dark cave basking

Sneering, still driving
Away hope, striving

To seize, to throw
A courage too slow

To keep up. Fear
Still stays; still here

I fight back blind
Cannot move, find

The tongue to speak
The knees that creak

Standing still, posed
Pretending composed

Still my heart dreams
Inside beats, screams

Demanding I leave
The fear, bereave

That I did not be
What I hope to see

Standing in me
So proud to be

What I dreamed. Look!
Here I am – in a book!

Open, pages ruffling
Closed, silent stifling

Still, I sit and yearn and wish
To be – in water – a fish.